Comfort Within Chaos

I collided with a brick wall of heat. My eyes squinted, trying to separate the hazy shapes of the few trees plotted around the backyard. My whole body felt toasted and sticky, like the baked butternut squash left in the fridge from our family barbeque a few days earlier. Easing my way down the porch steps, I straightened my back, breathed a deep sigh, then started running. The lifelessness outside exaggerated everything I sensed; the glare of the sun, the blast of passing pickups’ exhaust fumes, and the harsh noise of gravel crunching underfoot seemed worse than ever.

I don’t hate summer. I love lying on a hammock midday, blasting upbeat music over the hum of the air conditioner, and refueling myself with a slice of watermelon and a cannonball into the pool. But my motivation, like everyone else I know, enjoys traveling over the summer, and rarely pays me a visit.

Maybe I have so little motivation during the summer because then my days rarely have any structure. Unless, of course, waking up anytime between ten and one, eating my first meal around three in the afternoon (“I’ll have an order of Whatever’s on the Top Shelf of the Freezer”), and spending much of the rest of the day re-watching episodes of House Hunters International is structure. But during the school year, life is hectic. By August 20, sleeping in becomes impossible, deadlines are unavoidable, and retaining information is vital. In many ways, having so much to do is what compels me to finish everything, and to try to do it well. The fear of falling behind, along with the seasonal attractiveness of going to bed relatively early, is what pushes me to get things done.

What I'm trying to emphasize is that despite the increased work load and busyness during the school year, I need the stress to motivate me. I am often more productive when it comes to doing my homework during sport seasons (as opposed to during the off-season), so perhaps the more things I need to do in a shorter amount of time, the harder I work to get it done. I will use this blog to discuss life for me throughout the school year, and how many of the most high-pressure, challenging situations one can encounter show what we are truly capable of accomplishing.